I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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