I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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