Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
