Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
