Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
