Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think my fart just growled at me.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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