I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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