flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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