y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
