Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
