Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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