it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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