Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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