Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize