hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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