grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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