Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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