I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
