Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
