I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
