Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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