Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
