the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
