Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize