i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
