I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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