She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
