The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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