Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
