Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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