just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
