what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
