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Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
