My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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