Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
