go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
