Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
