i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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