i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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