STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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