i barfeds in our rink
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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