Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
