physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
