Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
