He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
