I wish I could punch you in the face.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
