Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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