I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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