hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
