I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
This is classic penis vs brain.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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