saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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