There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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