I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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