don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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