69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
