Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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