just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
