A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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