i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
