is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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