you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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