tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
