so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
