Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
