I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
