i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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