I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
