you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
