I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize